- Fed up of slimming pills?
- Had it with weight-watchers?
- Slimming shakes making you feel sick?
- All this, and still not losing weight…..?
- Wish you could go to sleep and wake up slim?
It's time for….
Coma-Diet ™
This extremely effective treatment guarantees weight-loss.
Simply book 6 months off work, visit one of our certified* clinics, pay the reasonable fee and let us put you in an artificially induced coma for 6 months.
- We guarantee you will experience weight-loss!**
- And no nasty cravings, tummy rumblings, or flatulence.
Why wait? Why weight?!
You can even take advantage of our Coma-Diet Premium service and have a whole new wardrobe waiting for when you wake up. Along with a personalised "catch-up" video to ensure you don't faux-pas having not realised your Aunt died while you were "away".
AND NOW…
Coma-Diet LITE(tm)
Can't afford to visit our clinic? Have a friend to move your limbs? We'll send you two "coma" pills to send you into your 6-month Coma-Diet in the comfort of your own home.
AND THERE'S MORE…
Coma-Diet MOBILE(tm)
Have an overweight relative or friend in denial? Want to spring the perfect surprise gift?
We can supply our Coma-Diet formula in blow-dart form. Take up a strategic covert position, go for a neck shot, et voila. They'll wake up in 6 months, having lost loads of weight and not even realised what hit them.
* Certified by me. Just me. No-one else.
** You may experience permanent loss of mobility, brain damage, or death.
